Tracy's Blog

I love Advent.  It is the time of year to reflect and wait.  To reflect on the waiting of Israel for the Deliverer and then for us to reflect on the Incarnation and what it means that the Deliverer came as a baby - fully God and fully human.  It is also a time to wait.  To wait for the promised return of Christ.  I didn't know that part of Advent until I started learning more about the Church Calendar and the Liturgical Year.  In the hustle and bustle of Christmas preparations when all I am tempted to focus on is my to-do lists, I so appreciate the Scripture passages that call us to remember that Jesus will return. Sometimes a carol will become more meaningful to me during the Advent Season.  I can still remember singing "Come Thou Long Expected Jesus" at the top of my lungs in our kitchen on Clementine St. in Ottawa.  I had finally understood what the words meant. A similar thing happened this year.  As we were preparing for the Advent P...

A few weeks ago while I was spending time with God, I asked myself what was going on.  I was sensing a lack... a need.  I felt desperate for something.  Was is satisfaction? significant? security? discipline?  None of those quite fit.  Then I hit on it - rest.  I wanted "a break".  There was some unrest in me and I wanted it to end.  I knew where to turn - to God and His Word. I remembered a chorus I had sung in a church we visited a few years ago.  It impacted me greatly and has stuck with me since.  The words - "Find rest once more, O my soul.  For the Lord is good." -  went through my mind.  And then I remembered Jesus' words: Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart and you will find rest for your souls.  For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."  Two phrases stood out...

"Why did I say that?"  This is what ran through my minds seconds after I said it.  We were talking about the need for both love and discernment in our Philippians Bible Study and I made a statement that love "is willing to do whatever it takes".  "But I don't believe that anymore," I thought to myself.  The conversation moved on and so did my thoughts.  It wasn't until later in the day that I returned to my questions about what love is willing to do. Let me rewind.  In my late 20's, I was convinced that loving others meant "doing whatever it takes" to help them.  Love is to be self-sacrificing and Jesus had said, " greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends " (John 15:13 NIV).   I assumed this meant if I just gave enough, things would get better.  And when they didn't, I grew anxious.  Somehow I knew I wasn't living the kind of love Jesus was talking about but I wasn't sur...

" I thank my God every time I remember you.  In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. " Phil 1:3-6 Thanksgiving weekend has passed and I hope each of you were able to enjoy some time with others around a table.  Our table was small with two of our children away at university and my husband and father-in-law on a trip.  But Tim, my mother-in-law, and I enjoyed our Thanksgiving dinner.  I believe that gratitude to God can be experienced whether we are with many others or a few.  It can even be experienced when we are alone! I like Apostle Paul's model of thanksgiving from Philippians 1.  First, we need to direct our thanksgiving to God.  It is from Him that all gifts come.  Second, we need to remember.  We need to reflect and think ...

I am so happy!  Yesterday I started a women's small group with friends in Selkirk.  A couple of the ladies were in the last small group I had here which ended three years ago and I have hardly seen them since.  It is surprising to me that I have lived in Manitoba long enough to have friends like that!  I am so grateful to God for this opportunity to fellowship, study Scripture, and pray together every Thursday morning.  We are studying Philippians so that will be the topic of my blog this fall. Let's jump in: Philippians 1:1-2 "Paul and Timothy, servants of Christ Jesus, To all the saints in Christ Jesus who are at Philippi, with the overseers and deacons: Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ." There are two things that stood out to me from this greeting.  Identity and attitude. First, identity.    Paul and Timothy describe themselves as "servants of Christ Jesus" .  I don't know about fi...

The other day I was rushing out the door to an appointment when I looked at the list I had written of what I had hoped to get done in the hour before I needed to leave the house.  Only one of the items on the list was accomplished and I hadn't wasted any time.  What about the other 3 things?  "That's was a wish list..... not a to-do list!" I said to myself. The idea has stuck with me so I have been pondering it and talking with people about it over the last two days.  What I have realized is that I make wish lists instead of making realistic plans.  This has been a long-term chronic time management problem of mine.  My lists can get really long!  They are more lists of things I wished were done/completed than things I am willing or able to do in the time available.  Maybe I am hoping my life will be like a montage in a movie when days and weeks of work get completed by the end of a song!  But life isn't a movie and there is no sound track t...

Today is an unusual day for me.  I am preparing for a memorial event for a friend whose baby died before birth at 36 weeks.  I am thinking about children and the gift that they are.  No matter how long they live or how challenged we may be by them, Scripture tells us:  Children are a gift from the LORD (Psalm 127:3a). Children are also on my mind as I start to prepare for the work I do at my church in overseeing two of the Sunday morning Children & Worship classes.  There are so many details to take care of but it is worth it because they are worth it!  It is a privilege to be a part of helping children understand God's love and forgiveness offered to us through Jesus. In July, I had a wonderful time leading the Bible Discovery Station at a VBS in Selkirk.  I loved the opportunity to: - tell a 5 year old boy who Jesus is.  He had no idea.  He didn't know Christmas was Jesus' birthday. - encourage a pre-teen girl to start to look in...

Who are these people?  Well, they are two little guys that were made by Tim's group in Vacation Bible School this week.  The theme this year is "Maker Fun Factory: Created by God, Built for a Purpose" and each group had 3 minutes to create a person out of random craft supplies.  I like them because they are unique (even though all groups had the same supplies) and simple.  There is something humble about them and that is a virtue I am purposely trying to seek out right now. Humility hasn't always been on my radar.  As a child I don't think I even knew the definition of the word.  Maybe I would have said, "not proud".  Once I began to seek God more wholeheartedly as a young adult, I was confronted with these words of Scripture: "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." (James 4:6) Well, I knew where I wanted to be in relation to God - a receiver of grace so I humility became a goal.  But I can't say that I was drawn to...

How do you take correction?  This has been a struggle for me in my life and I know why.  Pride.  My pride doesn't want to be wrong.  My pride wants to the be the one with the right answers and who does things the right way.  Humility, on the other hand, says, "Thank you for showing me my error."  "Thank you for teaching me what is right."  "Thank you for leading me into truth."  I don't remember exactly when in my adult life I became aware of how deep my hatred of correction was but it was one of those sort of shocking discoveries.  And a very important one. Today I am writing about correction because I had an interesting experience while reading the Bible the other day.  Here is what happened.  A devotional book I am using directed me to Matthew 10:1-10.  Included in it is the list of disciples that Jesus sent out. Simon (who is called Peter) and his brother Andrew; James son of Zebedee, and his brother John; Phili...

I have a confession to make.  Actually I have two and they fit under the two different categories of confessions in the Bible: a confession of sin and a confession of faith I love that a confession can be either of those things and they go so well together.  A confession is essentially a profession or acknowledgement of something.  Confessing is the act of making this profession or acknowledgement.  It is saying something .  Something that really matters. So when we confess our sin, we are admitting to it, acknowledging that what we said, thought, or did was against God's right ways.  When we confess our faith, we are stating what we believe about God. Two famous verses that go along with the two types of confessions are: "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."  (1 John 1:9 KJV - the way I first memorized it) "if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and b...

Last Thursday I met with the Youth For Christ Selkirk Director and his wife for prayer.  This is something I do regularly as a way to be involved in the ministry.  (To learn about it check out yfcselkirk.ca ).  As we talked about the youth, I became heavy-hearted.  They face such tremendous challenges such as poverty and mental health struggles.  They also tend to make decision that are based on instant gratification instead of long-term wellness which can get them into more trouble.  So while I was happy that I had taken time to pray and I do believe God is at work in their lives, I drove away from the prayer meeting feeling sorrow.  As the grief settled in, I had an interesting thought, "It's a gift".  Grief is a gift.  What!? Why? How? I learned a long time ago that grief means that something significant is missing or has been taken away.  I can keenly remember being on a plane flying to Ontario in my early twenties and thinking, "I...

I'm back.  I know it has been awhile.  But I'm here now.  Happy to be connecting with you again. Last week I was meeting with my spiritual director and I was sharing with her that I think my definition of love has been changing and I hope that is it aligning more with God's love.  We were talking specifically about love's ability to endure tension.  My nature disposition is to avoid internal tension.  I don't like when things feel unfinished or I feel unprepared.  I don't like conflict - internal or external.  Uncertainty stirs anxiety in me.  Chaos and imperfections can cause irritability.  I think you get the picture of what I am like without God's power working in me! But what I've come to realize is that God can handle a lot of tension.  There is so much that is "not yet" about this world, the church, me and yet God loves us all!  He is for us.  He is with us.  He is gracious and merciful towards us.  Thi...

Today I am thinking about dandelions. There are many of them on our lawn.  They appeared overnight a few days ago and then became puff balls so quickly.  I sometimes wonder if I stayed still long enough if I would be able to see them grow and change!  I know that dandelions are a weed but I am inspired by them.  I've always been a pursuer of change - desiring to see a definite difference in circumstances and characters.  Now the trouble I run into is that I want the change to be instantaneous.... or at least as quickly as a dandelion grows... but this isn't how transformation happens in our spiritual lives or in our souls. How does it happen?  Here are some phrases that come to mind: - enduring suffering - patient waiting - wise (but sometimes hard) decisions - counting the cost - putting off the old self - setting the mind on the Spirit - taking steps of faith - living a life of love - facing fears - humility - resisting temptation - trusti...

Christ is Risen!  I hope that you've had a meaningful and joyous Easter weekend and that this season of Eastertide (from Easter Sunday until Pentecost Sunday) is blessed.   I've been in an "Easter" mood and mode this week: grateful for God's forgiveness and the power and hope of the Resurrection as well as celebrating the freedom we have in Christ. (Yes, that means I've eaten a fair bit of chocolate!) Today, however, a heaviness settled on me.  I still don't know exactly what it was about but I took it as a prompt to get alone with God.  During that time, I focused on a repeated phrase in today's Gospel reading, John 20:19-31 :   "Peace be with you."  I love that Jesus' first words to His disciples after His resurrection are words of peace.  The gospel is about peace: with God, others, and ourselves.  The barrier of sin is removed and we are free to love and be loved.  It really is marvelous!  I had an interesting image come to mind ...

It is Holy Week.  As we making our way to Gethsemane, Golgotha, and the Garden with the Empty Tomb, a phrase keeps repeating in my mind, "forgiven and cleansed".  Friday we will remember what Jesus has done for us - the pain, abandonment, and physical torture He suffered, how He laid down His life.  Sunday, we will celebrate the power of life over death and the victory over the grave.  As we do this, let us take to heart what it means for us. We are forgiven - our sins no longer are held against us.  There is nothing separating us from God. We have peace with God. And cleansed - not only is there no punishment for our sins, but the stain, scum, and stench of them are removed as well.  We have been washed and made pure. Sound too good to be true?  Hear it from God's Word: "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9 (ESV) "Therefore, brothers and sisters, since...

Rivers, or specifically the Red River, has been on my radar a lot this week.  In fact, the Red is  the focal point of life in Selkirk right now. Why?  Because the ice started to break up, melt, and move last week. This impacts life here.  A road over in East Selkirk flooded which means that the main bridge connecting East Selkirk and Selkirk is closed and people have to drive a 10 km detour. Some years people houses are flooded resulting in thousands of dollars of damages or even to the point of being "lost". Here is a picture of the river and the flooding near our house from Thursday, March 30th.  Huge pieces of ice came up onto the banks and water flowed onto the grass. And here is what that same area looks like today. (April 3)  There ice and debris in the middle is actually the edge of the river.  Now that the river is flowing, the flooding will go down and life will get back to normal. This morning, another river came ...

Yes, you read that title correctly!  Here we are in the middle of Lent and today (March 25th) is a Holy Day that points us to the Incarnation: The Annunciation of our Lord Jesus Christ to the Blessed Virgin Mary. We usually read the Gospel account of the Annunciation during Advent as we are preparing to celebrate Christmas and we are swept up in the amazing truth that God became human and dwelt among us.  But Mary wasn't pregnant for only a few weeks.  March 25th is 9 months before December 25th and it is the date that the Church has designated to attend to the miraculous and glorious event of the Annunciation. As you read the passage, invite the Holy Spirit to speak to you.... in your place of need.  You may want to read it slowly, two or three times.  Let the words so familiar in another season of our lives bring hope and perspective during this season of contrition and repentance. peace and grace, Tracy Luke 1:26-38 (ESV) 26  In the sixth mon...

Lent is a time for self-reflection.  To become more aware of the habits and patterns of our life and see what they point to: trust in God or reliance on self/something other?  A couple of weeks ago, I blogged about 1Thessalonians 5:14 and challenged myself to self-examination to see if I was "reading" myself wrong and therefore not dealing with myself as the verse encourages us to treat others. ( Click here for link to that blo g).  So, what did I come up with? Well, the first thing is that the NASB translation has stayed fixed in my mind: "We urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone." I found the word "unruly" spoke to me in a way that lazy doesn't.  For years I accused myself of being lazy but later realized I wasn't lazy, I was anxious, fearful, or discouraged.  I was fainthearted. Encouragement was what I needed not admonishment or warning.  I now find it hard to discern ...

Not the carbonated beverage, our dog.  Now if you've read my blog over the years, you might be surprised at the title.  Pepsi has appeared in these blogs as a source of frustration (see January 15, 2014 ) but today he is a source of insight. Our weather here at the moment is spring-like: +3 degrees and melting.  This means the sidewalks are slippery  in spots as ice is melting but not completely gone.  We were just out for a walk and I slipped on the ice.  A quick scene flashed through my mind which included a trip to ER and a wrist cast.  But that didn't happen.  Instead, as I was falling, Pepsi's leash became taut providing a stabilizing force for me and I was able to gain my balance.  Whew!  Then as I walked, I began to think how this can be a picture of the spiritual life. Seasons change in our lives.  Even in our spiritual lives, we move through seasons as God works in different areas to continue to sanctify us.  Duri...

One of the important insights I have gained while working with women who have left abusive relationships is that we need to not have an abusive relationship with ourselves.  We can separate ourselves from anyone who treats us cruelly but if we disrespect ourselves, mistreat ourselves, or speak harshly to ourselves, we are still not free of abuse. What does this have to do with this blog?  with Lent? Well, the flip side is also true.  If we treat ourselves like Scripture commands us to treat others, then we will have a godly relationship with ourselves.*  Recently, when I read instructions about how I am to treat others, I ask myself: do I obey this command toward myself?  Today I have one verse I want to focus on: 1 Thessalonians 5:14 "And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone." (NIV) I love this verse.  I love it because Paul is so realistic - p...

My spiritual director shared Zephaniah 3:17 with me last week as we were entering into a time focused on God. One line caught my attention: “With his love he will calm all your fears” . I really liked the idea of this and is sounded new and fresh to me. I didn't remember that being part of the verse. Why? Well, because she read it in the New Living Translation and I was used to thinking about that verse from an old Bob Fitts chorus: The Lord our God is with us He is mighty to save. His delight is in us He renews with His love. The Lord gives praise and honour Taking all of our shame. He rejoices over us with singing. He rejoices over us with joy. (I suspect that there are a few readers who are singing along with me now!) In the song, the line is translated “He renews with His love”. While I like that idea too, it got me curious regarding the various translations. Here are four translations: New International Version “ The LORD your God ...