The Gift of Grief
Last Thursday I met with the Youth For Christ Selkirk Director and his wife for prayer. This is something I do regularly as a way to be involved in the ministry. (To learn about it check out yfcselkirk.ca). As we talked about the youth, I became heavy-hearted. They face such tremendous challenges such as poverty and mental health struggles. They also tend to make decision that are based on instant gratification instead of long-term wellness which can get them into more trouble. So while I was happy that I had taken time to pray and I do believe God is at work in their lives, I drove away from the prayer meeting feeling sorrow. As the grief settled in, I had an interesting thought, "It's a gift". Grief is a gift. What!? Why? How?
I learned a long time ago that grief means that something significant is missing or has been taken away. I can keenly remember being on a plane flying to Ontario in my early twenties and thinking, "I wouldn't be sad to leave Alberta if there was nothing good for me here. I feel sad because I am leaving people I love. I am so happy that I have these amazing people in my life." The grief highlighted how important the people I was leaving were to me and that is a good thing. This is part of what I mean when I say that "grief is a gift". Grief helps us identify our loves and values. It brings out what is important to us.
Knowing what is important to us helps us as we make decisions - especially about prioritizing our time and deciding on our budget. Grief can also let us know when it is time to pay attention to our own well-being and our relationships - especially our relationship with God.
Grief is a gift because it can turn us towards God. The turning can happen in many different ways. Here are three I am familiar with:
1) Turning to God for comfort.
"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18)
The greatest source of comfort in our lives is God: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Scripture tells us that God the Father is "the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, he comforts us in all our troubles..." (2 Cor. 1:3b-4a NIV). Jesus in His humanness was a "man of sorrows and acquainted with grief" (Isaiah 53:3 ESV). He understands your pain. The Holy Spirit is called "the Comforter" (John 14:26 KJV).* When you are grieving, you can turn to God and ask Him to comfort you. You can ask Him to be with you in your pain and alleviate your distress.
2) Repentance: turning away from sin and toward God for His mercy.
"Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret..." (2 Cor. 7:10 NIV)
Grieving over sin is a very good place to be. Realizing what we have done and who we've hurt (others, ourselves, and God) produces sorrow. This sorrow brings out what is important to us - being in right relationship with God, ourselves, and others - and motivates us to turn to God in repentance. My favorite definition of repentance is turning away from sin to God. Getting our eyes off the sin and onto God. Changing our attitude about the sin (no longer desiring it) and changing our actions (doing the opposite - the good.) True repentance also includes confession... in fact, I think it usually starts with it. Confession is admitting to God what we have done and that is wrong. It is also acknowledging that Jesus died for this sin. It is asking God to have mercy upon us.
3) Turning to God for help.
This is what we do in prayer when we are praying for the youth involved with YFC. We are turning to God in our grief to ask Him to act: to provide, intervene, and deliver. We are asking for help - directly in the lives of the teens as well as for the staff and volunteers as they interact with them. We cannot make up for the tremendous lack in the lives of these young people. We cannot reach their minds and hearts in their deepest places but we believe God can. And so we pray. God's Word instructs us to.
"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions, with all kinds of prayers and requests." (Eph. 5:18a NIV)
"Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful." (Col. 4:2)
I know those verses can seem like it is so simple and straightforward to pray... maybe even easy. It isn't. Often, in grief and distress, the prayer is a crying out to God. A cry out of pain and sorrow. A cry of desperation. Turning to God for help can be intense and emotional. It can be humbling. Too often, I can relate to the father of the mute boy who had fits that throw him to the ground when he said to Jesus, "But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us." "If you can?" said Jesus "Everything is possible for him who believes." Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" (Mark 9:22b-24 NIV). It is often when I am praying for things that break my heart that I find myself struggling to have faith. Part of the reason I am so grieved is that I don't know if the situation will ever change or I lack confidence that God will intervene. Part of the prayer I need to pray in these times is for myself... as the father did.. "help me overcome my unbelief!" The important thing for me is that I don't give up on God and I don't stop praying. Grief moves me to turn to God for help instead of trying to protect myself from the pain by avoidance or distraction.
My time to write this blog is quickly running out so I apologize that it may sound choppy. One last thought I want to say: as I write this, I am realizing that often I end up doing all three of these things in response to my grief. Turning to God for comfort, repenting of my unbelief, and asking for help. The impact on me and what I am praying for is significant. That is why I now see that "Grief is a Gift". My prayer for you is that something that you read today will help you in processing your own grief. Know that you are not alone. God is with you. Turn to Him.
In Christ,
Tracy
*Yes, I realize that is King James Version language but what He is called in that verse by different translations still will aid in comforting our souls as He is Helper, Advocate, and Counselor (see various translations here: John 14:26)
I learned a long time ago that grief means that something significant is missing or has been taken away. I can keenly remember being on a plane flying to Ontario in my early twenties and thinking, "I wouldn't be sad to leave Alberta if there was nothing good for me here. I feel sad because I am leaving people I love. I am so happy that I have these amazing people in my life." The grief highlighted how important the people I was leaving were to me and that is a good thing. This is part of what I mean when I say that "grief is a gift". Grief helps us identify our loves and values. It brings out what is important to us.
Knowing what is important to us helps us as we make decisions - especially about prioritizing our time and deciding on our budget. Grief can also let us know when it is time to pay attention to our own well-being and our relationships - especially our relationship with God.
Grief is a gift because it can turn us towards God. The turning can happen in many different ways. Here are three I am familiar with:
1) Turning to God for comfort.
"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18)
The greatest source of comfort in our lives is God: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Scripture tells us that God the Father is "the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, he comforts us in all our troubles..." (2 Cor. 1:3b-4a NIV). Jesus in His humanness was a "man of sorrows and acquainted with grief" (Isaiah 53:3 ESV). He understands your pain. The Holy Spirit is called "the Comforter" (John 14:26 KJV).* When you are grieving, you can turn to God and ask Him to comfort you. You can ask Him to be with you in your pain and alleviate your distress.
2) Repentance: turning away from sin and toward God for His mercy.
"Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret..." (2 Cor. 7:10 NIV)
Grieving over sin is a very good place to be. Realizing what we have done and who we've hurt (others, ourselves, and God) produces sorrow. This sorrow brings out what is important to us - being in right relationship with God, ourselves, and others - and motivates us to turn to God in repentance. My favorite definition of repentance is turning away from sin to God. Getting our eyes off the sin and onto God. Changing our attitude about the sin (no longer desiring it) and changing our actions (doing the opposite - the good.) True repentance also includes confession... in fact, I think it usually starts with it. Confession is admitting to God what we have done and that is wrong. It is also acknowledging that Jesus died for this sin. It is asking God to have mercy upon us.
3) Turning to God for help.
This is what we do in prayer when we are praying for the youth involved with YFC. We are turning to God in our grief to ask Him to act: to provide, intervene, and deliver. We are asking for help - directly in the lives of the teens as well as for the staff and volunteers as they interact with them. We cannot make up for the tremendous lack in the lives of these young people. We cannot reach their minds and hearts in their deepest places but we believe God can. And so we pray. God's Word instructs us to.
"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions, with all kinds of prayers and requests." (Eph. 5:18a NIV)
"Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful." (Col. 4:2)
I know those verses can seem like it is so simple and straightforward to pray... maybe even easy. It isn't. Often, in grief and distress, the prayer is a crying out to God. A cry out of pain and sorrow. A cry of desperation. Turning to God for help can be intense and emotional. It can be humbling. Too often, I can relate to the father of the mute boy who had fits that throw him to the ground when he said to Jesus, "But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us." "If you can?" said Jesus "Everything is possible for him who believes." Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" (Mark 9:22b-24 NIV). It is often when I am praying for things that break my heart that I find myself struggling to have faith. Part of the reason I am so grieved is that I don't know if the situation will ever change or I lack confidence that God will intervene. Part of the prayer I need to pray in these times is for myself... as the father did.. "help me overcome my unbelief!" The important thing for me is that I don't give up on God and I don't stop praying. Grief moves me to turn to God for help instead of trying to protect myself from the pain by avoidance or distraction.
My time to write this blog is quickly running out so I apologize that it may sound choppy. One last thought I want to say: as I write this, I am realizing that often I end up doing all three of these things in response to my grief. Turning to God for comfort, repenting of my unbelief, and asking for help. The impact on me and what I am praying for is significant. That is why I now see that "Grief is a Gift". My prayer for you is that something that you read today will help you in processing your own grief. Know that you are not alone. God is with you. Turn to Him.
In Christ,
Tracy
*Yes, I realize that is King James Version language but what He is called in that verse by different translations still will aid in comforting our souls as He is Helper, Advocate, and Counselor (see various translations here: John 14:26)
Comments
Post a Comment