Search me, O God....
One of the important insights I have gained while working with women who have left abusive relationships is that we need to not have an abusive relationship with ourselves. We can separate ourselves from anyone who treats us cruelly but if we disrespect ourselves, mistreat ourselves, or speak harshly to ourselves, we are still not free of abuse.
What does this have to do with this blog? with Lent?
Well, the flip side is also true. If we treat ourselves like Scripture commands us to treat others, then we will have a godly relationship with ourselves.* Recently, when I read instructions about how I am to treat others, I ask myself: do I obey this command toward myself? Today I have one verse I want to focus on: 1 Thessalonians 5:14
"And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone." (NIV)
I love this verse. I love it because Paul is so realistic - people are lazy, timid, and weak (see various translations of this verse here). But what hit me this week is that different people need different things from the other members of the Body of Christ to help them fully obey God.
The idle and disruptive need warning.
The disheartened need encouragement.
The weak need help.
And we all need patience.
Here is an example. Let's say your child is laying on the couch. Now if she is doing this instead of taking out the garbage as you have instructed her, then she needs warning. She needs to hear that not fulfilling her responsibilities will result in negative consequences. But if she is laying there discouraged that she can't do the school assignment that is due tomorrow, she needs encouraging. She may need to talk through the rubric of the assignment, clarify her next steps, and be given a pep talk to get to it. Finally, if she is laying there too sick to walk because of a 24 hour gastro bug but she really needs to get to the washroom, she needs you to come beside her, hoist her up and help her to the bathroom. In all three scenarios, you need to be patient with her.
So here is where Lent fits in. Lent is a time for self-reflection and examination. Lent is a time for repentance. Lent is a time to become more like Jesus. My concern is that often when we approach the areas of our lives that aren't in line with God's will and ways, we misread ourselves and therefore don't treat ourselves in the best, most fruitful, perhaps we could even say holy way. As a result of this mistreatment, we don't reach our goal of transformation and becoming more like Christ.
Here are some examples.
- I think I am being lazy when I am actually fainthearted. So I give myself a stern warning focusing on negative consequences instead of speaking comforting or encouraging words to myself.
- I think I am just discouraged when I am actually weak. So I try give myself a pep talk instead of admitting that I cannot do what needs to be done without help from God and others and then asking for that help.
- I think I am weak when I am actually being idle and unwilling to deal with my unruly soul. So I look for someone else to do what is mine to do instead of warning myself by looking ahead at the consequences of my behaviour.
- In all the scenarios, I am impatient with myself instead of forebearing with myself in love.
This is a really fresh insight for me and my plan is to take some time to reflect over the next week to see if I have been misreading myself. That is why I have titled this blog, "Search me, O God". I need the Holy Spirit to shine light into my soul and show me anyways I have been disobedient in my treatment of myself. If I find I have (which I expect), I will take time over Lent to speak to myself according to Paul's instructions.
I know this is longer and less to the point then most of my blogs so I want to say, "Thanks for listening!" I am also asking that if you have any feedback, don't hesitate to let me know.
grace and peace in Christ,
Tracy
*Jesus commands us to love our neighbour as we love ourselves and now I am flipping this around. I am open to being corrected if you believe it is inappropriate/wrong. Please let me know your thoughts.
What does this have to do with this blog? with Lent?
Well, the flip side is also true. If we treat ourselves like Scripture commands us to treat others, then we will have a godly relationship with ourselves.* Recently, when I read instructions about how I am to treat others, I ask myself: do I obey this command toward myself? Today I have one verse I want to focus on: 1 Thessalonians 5:14
"And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone." (NIV)
I love this verse. I love it because Paul is so realistic - people are lazy, timid, and weak (see various translations of this verse here). But what hit me this week is that different people need different things from the other members of the Body of Christ to help them fully obey God.
The idle and disruptive need warning.
The disheartened need encouragement.
The weak need help.
And we all need patience.
Here is an example. Let's say your child is laying on the couch. Now if she is doing this instead of taking out the garbage as you have instructed her, then she needs warning. She needs to hear that not fulfilling her responsibilities will result in negative consequences. But if she is laying there discouraged that she can't do the school assignment that is due tomorrow, she needs encouraging. She may need to talk through the rubric of the assignment, clarify her next steps, and be given a pep talk to get to it. Finally, if she is laying there too sick to walk because of a 24 hour gastro bug but she really needs to get to the washroom, she needs you to come beside her, hoist her up and help her to the bathroom. In all three scenarios, you need to be patient with her.
So here is where Lent fits in. Lent is a time for self-reflection and examination. Lent is a time for repentance. Lent is a time to become more like Jesus. My concern is that often when we approach the areas of our lives that aren't in line with God's will and ways, we misread ourselves and therefore don't treat ourselves in the best, most fruitful, perhaps we could even say holy way. As a result of this mistreatment, we don't reach our goal of transformation and becoming more like Christ.
Here are some examples.
- I think I am being lazy when I am actually fainthearted. So I give myself a stern warning focusing on negative consequences instead of speaking comforting or encouraging words to myself.
- I think I am just discouraged when I am actually weak. So I try give myself a pep talk instead of admitting that I cannot do what needs to be done without help from God and others and then asking for that help.
- I think I am weak when I am actually being idle and unwilling to deal with my unruly soul. So I look for someone else to do what is mine to do instead of warning myself by looking ahead at the consequences of my behaviour.
- In all the scenarios, I am impatient with myself instead of forebearing with myself in love.
This is a really fresh insight for me and my plan is to take some time to reflect over the next week to see if I have been misreading myself. That is why I have titled this blog, "Search me, O God". I need the Holy Spirit to shine light into my soul and show me anyways I have been disobedient in my treatment of myself. If I find I have (which I expect), I will take time over Lent to speak to myself according to Paul's instructions.
I know this is longer and less to the point then most of my blogs so I want to say, "Thanks for listening!" I am also asking that if you have any feedback, don't hesitate to let me know.
grace and peace in Christ,
Tracy
*Jesus commands us to love our neighbour as we love ourselves and now I am flipping this around. I am open to being corrected if you believe it is inappropriate/wrong. Please let me know your thoughts.
Thanks for this post, Tracy. I have occasionally been challenged by this question of whether we are treating ourselves (eg. through judgement, criticism, un-forgiveness) in a way that we would never treat others but your examination of these verses gives me a very practical example of how to think about it on a deeper level. And I think you really hit the nail on the head when you write:
ReplyDelete"we misread ourselves and therefore don't treat ourselves in the best, most fruitful, perhaps we could even say holy way. As a result of this mistreatment, we don't reach our goal of transformation and becoming more like Christ."
We can sometimes excuse our own harsh treatment of ourselves but, as your words point out, a failure to really examine what the problem is and apply the best and right corrective will actually hinder us from growing as God wants us to grow. This is a really helpful insight!