Self-reflection and Repentance
Lent is a time for self-reflection. To become more aware of the habits and patterns of our life and see what they point to: trust in God or reliance on self/something other? A couple of weeks ago, I blogged about 1Thessalonians 5:14 and challenged myself to self-examination to see if I was "reading" myself wrong and therefore not dealing with myself as the verse encourages us to treat others. (Click here for link to that blog). So, what did I come up with?
Well, the first thing is that the NASB translation has stayed fixed in my mind:
"We urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone."
I found the word "unruly" spoke to me in a way that lazy doesn't. For years I accused myself of being lazy but later realized I wasn't lazy, I was anxious, fearful, or discouraged. I was fainthearted. Encouragement was what I needed not admonishment or warning. I now find it hard to discern if I am lazy or not because of this experience. But unruly..... I found I could open myself up to examining my life for signs of that.
First, I looked up the definition. Unruly means "disorderly and disruptive and not amenable to discipline or control". As soon as I read the word "disorderly", I knew I had an issue to deal with: my desk. Actually, my desks - home and work. Even though I have capacity to be organized, I have had a messy desk most of my life. A disorderly desk. A space that reflects lack of discipline and results in disruptions in my life or work when I can't find files, forms, or bills when I need them. I saw underneath the disorderly desk, an undisciplined soul that is unwilling to make decisions and instead procrastinates by putting everything on "the pile".
So what did I do? Well, I applied what I had blogged about and warned myself. I looked at both the negative and positive consequences of both a disorderly desk and an orderly one. I didn't like what I saw when I looked at the consequences of a disorderly desk but I liked the fruit of an orderly one. Then I repented. I got up from my quiet time and spent 1 hour cleaning my desk.
Have I maintained it? Not entirely but it is much better than it has been and I am much more motivated to act on it sooner. I still have a ways to go to learn new habits and get over my avoidance of decision-making but I am confident that God can lead me on through this. I am really glad I took the time to self-reflect and that it led to repentance.
Thanks again for listening in on my Lenten journey! I hope you find something to inspire you in yours.
in Christ,
Tracy
Well, the first thing is that the NASB translation has stayed fixed in my mind:
"We urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone."
I found the word "unruly" spoke to me in a way that lazy doesn't. For years I accused myself of being lazy but later realized I wasn't lazy, I was anxious, fearful, or discouraged. I was fainthearted. Encouragement was what I needed not admonishment or warning. I now find it hard to discern if I am lazy or not because of this experience. But unruly..... I found I could open myself up to examining my life for signs of that.
First, I looked up the definition. Unruly means "disorderly and disruptive and not amenable to discipline or control". As soon as I read the word "disorderly", I knew I had an issue to deal with: my desk. Actually, my desks - home and work. Even though I have capacity to be organized, I have had a messy desk most of my life. A disorderly desk. A space that reflects lack of discipline and results in disruptions in my life or work when I can't find files, forms, or bills when I need them. I saw underneath the disorderly desk, an undisciplined soul that is unwilling to make decisions and instead procrastinates by putting everything on "the pile".
So what did I do? Well, I applied what I had blogged about and warned myself. I looked at both the negative and positive consequences of both a disorderly desk and an orderly one. I didn't like what I saw when I looked at the consequences of a disorderly desk but I liked the fruit of an orderly one. Then I repented. I got up from my quiet time and spent 1 hour cleaning my desk.
Have I maintained it? Not entirely but it is much better than it has been and I am much more motivated to act on it sooner. I still have a ways to go to learn new habits and get over my avoidance of decision-making but I am confident that God can lead me on through this. I am really glad I took the time to self-reflect and that it led to repentance.
Thanks again for listening in on my Lenten journey! I hope you find something to inspire you in yours.
in Christ,
Tracy
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