Tracy's Blog

I'm still thinking about the "unexpected" as I consider expectations.  Why?  Because I am realizing that often what I am caught off guard by something, it is because I had expected something else.  The unexpected in my life is often a result of things not going as I expected. I wonder about Mary and Joseph.  What were their expectations with regards to the promised Messiah?  Surely they didn't expect to be involved!  Yes, they were both of the line of David* from which the Messiah was to come (Isaiah 11:1), but they lived in Nazareth not Bethlehem. (Micah 5:2) I marvel at how the story unfolds.... with so many surprising elements!  Mary is told she is to have a baby even though she is a virgin ( Luke 1:26-38) . Joseph has to deal with a pregnant fiancee (and he knows he is not the Dad - Matthew 1:18-25 )  Eventually, they do end up in Bethlehem because of political reasons ( Luke 2:1-5 ) and that is where Jesus was born.  There are more su...

Well I expected to launch into this blog series reflecting on all my expectations - of myself, of God, of Christmas - when a passage we had read the first Sunday of Advent caught my attention with the word "unexpectedly" . Luke 21:25-36 was the Gospel reading last Sunday.  Right now I want to focus on the last three verses: 34  “Be on guard so that your hearts are not weighed down with dissipation and drunkenness and the worries of this life, and that day does not catch you unexpectedly, 35  like a trap. For it will come upon all who live on the face of the whole earth. 36  Be alert at all times, praying that you may have the strength to escape all these things that will take place, and to stand before the Son of Man.” The passage is talking about the return of Christ - that there will be signs and distressing things that happen before Jesus comes again so we need to be ready.  We need to be on our guard so that "that day does not catch [us] unexpe...

Advent is here!  I decided that this year I am going to spend the Advent Season blogging about expectations.  Since I usually have a lot of them, I thought it would be good to explore what the Bible says about expectations - particularly regarding the advent of Christ. I am anticipating it to be an interesting journey.... yes, I guess I do have some great expectations!  To start let me invite you to reflect on the words of  my most-beloved Advent hyms. Come, Thou Long Expected Jesus Charles Wesley 1. Come, thou long expected Jesus, born to set thy people free; from our fears and sins release us, let us find our rest in thee. Israel's strength and consolation, hope of all the earth thou art; dear desire of every nation, joy of every longing heart.   2. Born thy people to deliver, born a child and yet a King, born to reign in us forever, now thy gracious kingdom bring. By thine own eternal spirit rule in all our hear...

As I look out our sunroom windows, I see fog covering the river.  The temperature is dropping and the weather network says that winter is coming... tonight.  So I settle down in my chair with a cup of chocolate chai.  Ahh..... the warmth of the mug and the silence around, they comfort me. Quickly around me Christmas decorations are coming up.  House upon house have already put their lights up (much too soon in my opinion) so that they can beat the cold weather and the snow.  People are getting ready for the season of "comfort and joy".  Soon we will be seeing cards and wallhangings looking something like this: All this has me thinking... What is comfort?  Why do I long for it?  Where do I look for it? Where does God fit in to all this? I decided to start with the dictionary. From The New Penguin English Dictionary: Comfort is : "consolation or encouragement in time of trouble or worry, or somebody or something that provides this." I foun...

Sometimes when I read the Bible, I find a passage that I don't remember ever reading before, even though I know I have.  That's what happened to me this week.  Here it is:   "But I will sing of your strength;      I will sing aloud of your steadfast love in the morning. For you have been to me a fortress      and a refuge in the day of my distress.     O my Strength, I will sing praises to you,      for you, O God, are my fortress,      the God who shows me steadfast love." Psalm 59:16-17 (ESV) The phrase " O my Strength " stood out to me.  What does it mean that God is my strength? When I am weak, He is strong. When I cannot stand, He holds me up. When I am in danger, He is my safety. When I have nothing to give, He gives through me. When I want to give up, He sustains me. When I "just can't", He can. God is my Strength, my Fortress and Strong Tower.  He ...

I've been auditing a "Pastoral Theology" course through the Ecclesial University which is a partnership between my parish and Wycliffe College (U of T). This weekend we had a special seminar with a professor from Wycliffe College.  She went around the room asking the students what they hoped to get out of the class on Saturday afternoon.  For me, I said something like, "How do we build our "tolerance" for suffering without become hardhearted or pessimistic?"  As I listened in class, thought about Scripture, and then went to church today, I had an idea: the Saints! Why would I think they are the answer to my question?  Because they have lived it.  They have suffered and persevered.  They have shared in the sufferings of others and continued to have hope in Christ. For me, I need role models.  People who believe in Christ and are able to continue on in the faith after devastating things happen.  People who care deeply about others and are able ...

Maybe the title of my blog should be "Pepsi's Blog" instead of "Tracy's Blog" since I am yet again going to tell you a story about walking our dog. It was a lovely afternoon and Clint, Tim, and I were walking Pepsi along the street we live on. All of a sudden a little black dog came running across the street. I think he was excited to greet Pepsi. His owner was calling out for him so I watched her for a moment until my eyes were drawn to the road. There was a car coming! The dog was running straight across the street. The car was coming at a normal but quick enough speed. A collision seemed inevitable. What happened? Well, if left only to my eye witness account, you would never know. Why? Because I closed my eyes. I couldn't bear to see the dog get hit so I shut my eyes tight. When I didn't hear a "thud", I opened my eyes. The dog was running off. The car was picking up speed again. "What happened?" I asked Cli...

On Sunday morning, I was walking our dog, Pepsi, down our street.  It was very quiet when something peculiar happened.  A woman stopped her car several meters in front of us and got out.  I recognized her as the grandmother of a girl who attended a preschool program with Timmy but I couldn't remember her name as that was years ago.  As we got closer, she asked if it was okay if she gave Pepsi a treat.  I said yes and she asked him to sit, which he eagerly did.  She gave him several treats and petted him lovingly.  Pepsi was in his glory as he loves attention of any sort!  She told me that she once had two labs but they both died of cancer when they were 7 years old and how that broke her heart.  Then as quickly as it started, it was over.  She was back in her car and off to work while we continued on our way. My immediate thoughts were about love and what it does. Love motivates. Love grieves. Love obeys. Diana (I asked her name) w...

Today I was suppose to meet someone at 10:00 am in the lobby of an apartment building.  10:00 came and went and she wasn't there.  I sat down on a bench outside and started to stress asking myself, "Did I misunderstand the location?" In those minutes I had to wait (she showed up at 10:15 am as she thought we had agreed on that time), a variety of things happened. 1) I started to question myself 2) I felt anxious 3) I thought about how this could apply to waiting for God and maybe I could write a blog about it 4) I ran into someone I knew and had a friendly chat. This brief experience today has me thinking.  It has me thinking about how quickly I begin to doubt - myself and others - when I end up waiting.  Am I this way with God?  Sometimes.  Sometimes I am okay with waiting.  I know things take time.  I know there are many aspects to the coming of the kingdom of God in a specific situation.  But others times I am no...

Life is a whirlwind right now with the end of school and many special events (at work, church, and school) .... the biggest one being our oldest son's Grade 12 graduation coming up on Monday.  I find that when I am in a "whirlwind" time of life, one of the things I need most is to be still. To obey His command to " be still and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10) To be able to " be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him" (Psalm 37:7) To trust that "The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still .” (Exodus 14:14) How do we practice this when there is so much to do?  When our schedules and brains are so full? When the challenges demand more time than there are hours in the day and more work than we are capable of? In the moment... in the now... by faith. A simple way would be to take a minute and pray through one of the three verses above.  Telling God about what has you "moving" and asking Him for the trust and...

Sometimes kids do things that make us laugh and sometimes they do things that make us think.  Awhile back, a delightful three-year old I know did both.  It was during a special service at church where the children were sitting up at the altar for part of it.  The particular thing that made me laugh and think was during the prayers of the people when part way through she said, in a not so quiet voice, "When is this going to stop?"  Now, she was just expressing how she felt ('this is going on way too long') and that made me smile.  But why did this get me thinking?  Basically because her words struck a chord.  Isn't that what is underneath many of the prayers that we pray and pray and pray?  The prayers that we keep bringing to God over the weeks, months and years.  The prayers that haven't been answered yet.  The prayers that are often prayed in tears or anger. We want to know when the pain or suffering or trial or war or ill...

The Psalm appointed for last Sunday in the lectionary was Psalm 138.  I found it very encouraging.  Here it is from the ESV: I give you thanks, O Lord , with my whole heart;      before the gods I sing your praise; 2  I bow down toward your holy temple      and give thanks to your name for your steadfast love and your faithfulness,      for you have exalted above all things      your name and your word. 3  On the day I called, you answered me;      my strength of soul you increased. 4  All the kings of the earth shall give you thanks, O Lord ,      for they have heard the words of your mouth, 5  and they shall sing of the ways of the Lord ,      for great is the glory of the Lord . 6  For though the Lord is high, he regards the lowly,      but the haughty he knows from afar. 7  Th...

I was about to do the dishes tonight when my mind was filled with the too many things that I need to pray about but don't have what it takes (time? energy? insight? faith?) to pray.  Then I heard myself start recite a portion of the Epistle from Pentecost Sunday last weekend: "The Spirit helps us in our weakness...." I immediately came over to the computer to jot this blog down and share this passage with you. Romans 8: 26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words. 27 And God, who searches the heart, knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. Isn't it wonderful that the Holy Spirit came and that He is praying for us!?!  Pentecost is a day on the Church Calendar but the significance of it is felt day by day, moment by moment. "Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!" (...

12  Then the apostles returned to Jerusalem from the hill called the Mount of Olives, a Sabbath day’s walk from the city. 13  When they arrived, they went upstairs to the room where they were staying. Those present were Peter, John, James and Andrew; Philip and Thomas, Bartholomew and Matthew; James son of Alphaeus and Simon the Zealot, and Judas son of James. 14  They all joined together constantly in prayer, along with the women and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with his brothers. Acts 1:12-14 What did the disciples do in the time in-between the Ascension and Pentecost?  Acts 1:12-26 tells us.  The main emphasis of the passage is choosing someone to replace Judas.  Before they get into the specifics of that, three things are talked about ...... First : The apostles go back home.  They had just seen their Lord go away from them and had angels tell them that He will come back.  But they remember and obey what Jesus had told them earli...

Ascension Day is coming .... Thursday, May 14.  This is the day when we remember and celebrate Jesus's Ascension into heaven.  One of the accounts of the Ascension is  Acts 1:1-11 .  When I read this passage, I am struck by the disciples question:  “Lord, is this the time when you will restore the kingdom to Israel?”   After all that has happened and the rollercoaster ride they have been on with Jesus' death and resurrection, His followers are still wondering when Israel will be established as a nation again.  When will Rome be over-thrown?  What answer does Jesus give them? He replied, “It is not for you to know the times or periods that the Father has set by his own authority. 8  But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” (vs 7-8) J esus didn't tell them.  He just said that it is not for them...

I love when I am reading the Bible and something stands out to me that I didn't notice before or a familiar passage read in another translation gives a fuller interpretation.  That's what happened to me today. If you had asked me my title question "Are you struggling?" last week.  I would have given you a sad "yes" for an answer.  Due to many things, including overtiredness, I was struggling with grief and anger last week.  Thanks be to God, this has lifted so I am no longer experiencing this.  But after what I read in the Bible today, if you asked me, "Are you struggling?", I want to answer an enthusiastic "yes!".  Why? The answer: Colossians 4:12 "Epaphras, who is one of you, a servant of Christ Jesus, greets you, always struggling on your behalf in his prayers, that you may stand mature and fully assured in all the will of God." I want to be like Epaphras.... struggling in prayer so that those I am praying for will b...

Lent is a time for self-examination and penitence, for taking a serious look at our lives and being sorry for our sin.  But it isn't a time to be self-absorbed or caught in the paralyzing grip of shame. We sang this hymn at church two Sundays ago and I thought it captures something of the essence of Lent. Verse 1 of "Out of the Depths" by Martin Luther "Out of the depths I cry to you;  O Lord, now hear me calling.  Incline your ear to my distress in spite of my rebelling.  Do not regard me sinful deeds.  Send me the grace my spirit needs;  without it I am nothing." In it, the singer acknowledges her/his rebellion and sin.  Look where they are calling out from: the depths.  This is where sin leads us.  This is where we end up when we live for ourselves and on our own strength.  But as Christians, we do not have to stay there!  We cry out to God and ask for help.  We can be bold, even though we ha...

Last week I was meditating on Psalm 25:4-5 "Make me to know your ways, O Lord ;      teach me your paths.   Lead me in your truth and teach me,      for you are the God of my salvation;      for you I wait all the day long." It got me thinking about waiting on the Lord and I had a thought I'd never had before......  being a waiter.  You know, someone who waits on tables at a restaurant.  Maybe one of the ways to view waiting on the Lord is this: just as a waiter serves the patrons at the table, so we serve God as we wait on Him.  Not that God is a paying customer... I don't want to take the image that far.  What I am interested in is the idea that waiting is an active state for the Christian.  As we wait for God to speak or act, we serve Him in everyway that we know how.  Sure there are things we are uncertain about.  Sure we don't know how He is going to provide in a particular s...

Some of you might be wondering if I gave up blogging for Lent.  I didn't!  I just couldn't decide what themes or Scripture passages to discuss.  So, I put off writing.  But here I am today. Lent is one of my favourite seasons in the Church Year.  I find setting time aside to confess and repent of my sin draws me close to God and increases my gratitude for the cross.  It prepares me for Easter. But Lent is hard.  It can be hard to make time to pray.  It can be hard to face our sin.  Sometimes we don't want to.  Other times we don't know how.  One image keeps coming to mind when I think of Lent.  It is something I saw one Saturday morning in my dining room.  The sun was streaming in (after many, many weeks of cloudy weather) and I was delighted with this.  But when I looked down at my floor, I was shocked.  I saw a thin film of dust that I didn't know was there.  We had swept the floor the nigh...

The Gospel reading for the last Sunday of the season of Epiphany was Mark 9:2-9. The Transfiguration 2  After six days Jesus took Peter, James and John with him and led them up a high mountain, where they were all alone. There he was transfigured before them. 3  His clothes became dazzling white, whiter than anyone in the world could bleach them. 4  And there appeared before them Elijah and Moses, who were talking with Jesus. 5  Peter said to Jesus, “Rabbi, it is good for us to be here. Let us put up three shelters—one for you, one for Moses and one for Elijah.” 6  (He did not know what to say, they were so frightened.) 7  Then a cloud appeared and covered them, and a voice came from the cloud: “This is my Son, whom I love. Listen to him!” 8  Suddenly, when they looked around, they no longer saw anyone with them except Jesus. 9  As they were coming down the mountain, Jesus gave them orders not to tell anyone what they had seen until ...

One of the things I have responsibility for in my job at Nova House is overseeing an apartment for women who are transitioning from the shelter to their own housing.  Normally we only have one woman (and her children) staying in the 3 bedroom apartment but a few weeks ago we needed to move a second woman in.  Now a 3 bedroom place would seem sufficient - except that one of the bedrooms didn't have a bed.  Yes, there was a mattress, but the bed frame was broken so in the fall when I took on this job, I had it hauled to the dump.  So there I was on a Friday afternoon wondering how we were going to get a bed for this woman before she moved in the next week. What did I do? Two things: 1) prayed - I asked God for a single bed to be donated by the next Friday (I thought she could handle a few nights on the mattress or on the couch) 2) emailed 2 groups of ladies (an old small group of mine and a group from a church in Selkirk that have been very supportive of Nova ...

This is going to be a very short blog posting.  It's something to think about that I would love to hear your feedback on. I was reading the Epistle for this coming weekend ( 1 Corinthians 8:1-13 ) when verse 6 caught my attention: " 6 yet for us there is one God, the Father, from whom are all things and for whom we exist, and one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom are all things and through whom we exist." Now that is a pretty theologically dense verse!  Just look at those prepositions: from, for, and through!  But I said this was going to be short so I will get to the point.  It is really this phrase that jumped out at me: "God, the Father ....for whom we exist"  Here is the question that I am pondering - how does my view of my daily life change if I believe I/we exist for God?  Any comments? grace and peace, Tracy

5 For God alone my soul waits in silence, for my hope is from him. 6 He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. 7 On God rests my deliverance and my honor; my mighty rock, my refuge is in God. 8 Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. 9 Those of low estate are but a breath, those of high estate are a delusion; in the balances they go up; they are together lighter than a breath. 10 Put no confidence in extortion, and set no vain hopes on robbery; if riches increase, do not set your heart on them. 11 Once God has spoken; twice have I heard this: that power belongs to God, 12 and steadfast love belongs to you, O Lord. For you repay to all according to their work. Psalm 62:5-12 NRSV This is the psalm appointed for Sunday, January 25.  As you read it, I would expect that some line will jump out at you to encourage or exhort you.  In light of my work at the women's shelter, the ending stuck out to...

Happy New Year!  Obviously I didn't make a New Year's resolution to blog weekly!  (Although it is Ukrainian New Year's Day today.... so maybe I will?!) We are currently in the season of Epiphany in the church calendar.  I love this season because it is about revelation, about gaining insight into who Jesus is: Saviour, Lord, and God.  The season starts on January 6th which is the day we celebrated the Magi bringing gifts to Jesus and their acknowledgement of Him as king through their worship.  It lasts until Ash Wednesday when Lent starts (this year that is February 18th).  It is a season of light, of embracing the manifestation of God. Last Sunday, we sang the hymn, "Songs of Thankfulness and Praise".   I love how it goes through scenarios from the Gospels of when it is revealed exactly WHO Jesus is: God.  Take a read through and let it draw you toward the One who was born so humbly in the stable and then lived, died,...