Pride (Part 2)
Currently I'm reading Beth Moore's book, "So Long, Insecurity," with a group of friends. Beth was talking about pride being one of the main roots of insecurity and how it drives perfectionism. In her discussion on this topic, she quoted a psychiatrist and theologian, Richard Winter. I was struck by the quote so I wanted to pass it on to you as it raises some important (and challenging) issues about how we view our insecurities.
"Although perfectionists seem very insecure, doubting their decisions and actions, fearing mistakes and rejection, and having low opinions of themselves, at the same time, they have excessively high personal standards and an exaggerated emphasis on precision, order and organization, which suggests an aspiration to be better than others.
Most psychological explanations see the desire to be superior and in control as compensation for feelings of weakness, inferiority and low self-esteem. But is could also be that the opposite is true; we feel bad about ourselves because we are not able to perform as well, or appear as good, as we really think we can. We believe we are better than others, but we keep discovering embarrassing flaws. Perfectionists' black-and-white thinking takes them on a roller coaster between feeling horribly inadequate and bad about themselves, and then, when things are going well, feeling proud to be so good. Low self-esteem and pride coexist in the same heart."
Richard Winters, Perfection Ourselves to Death (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarstiy Press, 2005), 125-126.
What gets me about this quote? I think it unmasks the deceptiveness of pride. For example, I will feel terrible because I've made a mistake and my reaction will be to look for comfort - from others and God - when actually what I need to be doing is repenting over the pride that thinks I am "above" making mistakes and better than those around me. Pride is an opportunist and makes sure the my internal attention is always on me. It doesn't matter if the attention is positive or negative as long as I am on center stage!
How does this differ from the biblical perspective? Romans 12:3 come to mind:
"For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of yourself more highly than you ought to think, but to think with sober judgement, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned."
When it comes to pride, we need to be sober-minded. We need to think clearly to be able to be realistic about who we are and what God has given to us. Our judgement cannot be in the extremes of grandiose self-praise or brutal self-contempt. Neither of these fit or are true of a child of God. We need to remember that we belong to the body of Christ, the Church, and that each part of the body has been given gifts to build up that body. Each person has an important role to play and it is all based on God's grace, on His free gifts. (See Romans 12:4-8 and 1 Corinthians 12:12-26).
So the next time you catch yourself berating yourself, you might want to ask the Lord to grant you the faith and grace necessary for sober-judgement. Ask the Holy Spirit to bring your attitudes into the light of the truth so that you can repent as needed as well as find the help you need to grow in your knowledge of your identity in Christ.
"Although perfectionists seem very insecure, doubting their decisions and actions, fearing mistakes and rejection, and having low opinions of themselves, at the same time, they have excessively high personal standards and an exaggerated emphasis on precision, order and organization, which suggests an aspiration to be better than others.
Most psychological explanations see the desire to be superior and in control as compensation for feelings of weakness, inferiority and low self-esteem. But is could also be that the opposite is true; we feel bad about ourselves because we are not able to perform as well, or appear as good, as we really think we can. We believe we are better than others, but we keep discovering embarrassing flaws. Perfectionists' black-and-white thinking takes them on a roller coaster between feeling horribly inadequate and bad about themselves, and then, when things are going well, feeling proud to be so good. Low self-esteem and pride coexist in the same heart."
Richard Winters, Perfection Ourselves to Death (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarstiy Press, 2005), 125-126.
What gets me about this quote? I think it unmasks the deceptiveness of pride. For example, I will feel terrible because I've made a mistake and my reaction will be to look for comfort - from others and God - when actually what I need to be doing is repenting over the pride that thinks I am "above" making mistakes and better than those around me. Pride is an opportunist and makes sure the my internal attention is always on me. It doesn't matter if the attention is positive or negative as long as I am on center stage!
How does this differ from the biblical perspective? Romans 12:3 come to mind:
"For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of yourself more highly than you ought to think, but to think with sober judgement, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned."
When it comes to pride, we need to be sober-minded. We need to think clearly to be able to be realistic about who we are and what God has given to us. Our judgement cannot be in the extremes of grandiose self-praise or brutal self-contempt. Neither of these fit or are true of a child of God. We need to remember that we belong to the body of Christ, the Church, and that each part of the body has been given gifts to build up that body. Each person has an important role to play and it is all based on God's grace, on His free gifts. (See Romans 12:4-8 and 1 Corinthians 12:12-26).
So the next time you catch yourself berating yourself, you might want to ask the Lord to grant you the faith and grace necessary for sober-judgement. Ask the Holy Spirit to bring your attitudes into the light of the truth so that you can repent as needed as well as find the help you need to grow in your knowledge of your identity in Christ.
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