Grace Vs. Shame
I've been busy working on some projects with our local women's shelter these past couple of weeks. And somewhere in that busyness, I started losing my perspective. Human error were irritating to me and if the mistake was mine, anger and shame would quickly follow. Obviously, I was not walking in God's grace and this needed to change. Then I had a very interesting day. It was two weeks ago today - Wednesday, April 24th. Although I didn't realize it at the start of the day, it was my day to choose between shame or grace. Between viewing life with judgemental, harsh eyes or with God's perspective towards us - unmerited favour.
Three things happened that day....
First. In the morning, I went to the church that I had organized an event at the day before. I was quickly running to get something that my boss had forgotten and I realized that there were women washing the floor of the hall. I chatted with them and realized that we had not left the church in the condition they needed it to be for their exercise class that morning. I apologized and they were very gracious towards me. They realized that I hadn't been given clear guidelines ("leave it as you found it" can mean many different things) and were in no way angry with our group or seeking to make me feel guilty. This helped me embrace grace towards myself. Even though I was tempted to move toward self-hatred, I chose grace.
Second. I took Timmy to a dentist appointment. Now, like many almost 5-year olds, Timmy had been fighting with us at teeth brushing time but we still managed to do a "good enough" job daily. Or so I thought. Imagine my surprise when as soon as the dental hygienist looks in his mouth we see an abscess! The dentist said that he needed a one week course of antibiotics to decrease the infection and then to have his tooth removed a week or so later. How did I handle it? Well, since I had chosen to accept the grace of the exercise crew earlier in the morning, I was open to seeing this as grace too! God's grace. Instead of thinking, "How could we have let this happen?! What a terrible mother am I!", I thought, "Thank-you God that this abscess was discovered now before it caused Timmy much pain. Thank-you for the provision of the dentist to deal with it."
Third. I walked in the door and Clint said, "we got a phone call about Pepsi". Pepsi is our friendly retriever who normally stays home because he has an electronic system that keeps him in the yard. Unfortunately, one of the neighbour dogs chewed off the receiver from his collar so he was free to wander the neighbourhood. "What happened?" I asked. Clint then went on to tell me that the neighbours down the road called to say that Pepsi had spent the night on their deck and was trying to get into their house. So, Abigail and I went to get him and he happily came home. What was I to think? feel? Embarrased? Angry? Again, I chose to be grateful for the kindness extended to us through the neighbours who took the time to call and without anger let us know the situation. "Thank-you God for kind neighbours. They are evidence of Your grace."
So there you have it. My Wednesday a few weeks ago that will stay in my memory for a long time. In all these situations, my choice of accepting grace versus diving into shame resulted in gratitude for the people I encountered and gratitude towards God. That's a whole lot better than irritation and self-condemnation. It's an other-centered focus that leaves me joyful.
How about you? Any stories of God's grace in situations that could have tempted you towards shame? I'd love to hear them.
"Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ." (Eph. 1:2)
Tracy
Three things happened that day....
First. In the morning, I went to the church that I had organized an event at the day before. I was quickly running to get something that my boss had forgotten and I realized that there were women washing the floor of the hall. I chatted with them and realized that we had not left the church in the condition they needed it to be for their exercise class that morning. I apologized and they were very gracious towards me. They realized that I hadn't been given clear guidelines ("leave it as you found it" can mean many different things) and were in no way angry with our group or seeking to make me feel guilty. This helped me embrace grace towards myself. Even though I was tempted to move toward self-hatred, I chose grace.
Second. I took Timmy to a dentist appointment. Now, like many almost 5-year olds, Timmy had been fighting with us at teeth brushing time but we still managed to do a "good enough" job daily. Or so I thought. Imagine my surprise when as soon as the dental hygienist looks in his mouth we see an abscess! The dentist said that he needed a one week course of antibiotics to decrease the infection and then to have his tooth removed a week or so later. How did I handle it? Well, since I had chosen to accept the grace of the exercise crew earlier in the morning, I was open to seeing this as grace too! God's grace. Instead of thinking, "How could we have let this happen?! What a terrible mother am I!", I thought, "Thank-you God that this abscess was discovered now before it caused Timmy much pain. Thank-you for the provision of the dentist to deal with it."
Third. I walked in the door and Clint said, "we got a phone call about Pepsi". Pepsi is our friendly retriever who normally stays home because he has an electronic system that keeps him in the yard. Unfortunately, one of the neighbour dogs chewed off the receiver from his collar so he was free to wander the neighbourhood. "What happened?" I asked. Clint then went on to tell me that the neighbours down the road called to say that Pepsi had spent the night on their deck and was trying to get into their house. So, Abigail and I went to get him and he happily came home. What was I to think? feel? Embarrased? Angry? Again, I chose to be grateful for the kindness extended to us through the neighbours who took the time to call and without anger let us know the situation. "Thank-you God for kind neighbours. They are evidence of Your grace."
So there you have it. My Wednesday a few weeks ago that will stay in my memory for a long time. In all these situations, my choice of accepting grace versus diving into shame resulted in gratitude for the people I encountered and gratitude towards God. That's a whole lot better than irritation and self-condemnation. It's an other-centered focus that leaves me joyful.
How about you? Any stories of God's grace in situations that could have tempted you towards shame? I'd love to hear them.
"Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ." (Eph. 1:2)
Tracy
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